Category Archives: crazy shit

The Ultimate Plot Hole

In the Fantastic Four’s first encounter with Galactus, they get a little help from the Watcher, who gives Reed Richards access to the Ultimate Nullifier, a device with which he is able to drive Galactus away from Earth.

Sorry, the Earth would have been toast.

Sorry, the Earth would have been toast.

Are we to believe that Galactus, an almost omnipotent being, capable of creating demigods like the Silver Surfer, subsisting on the life-energy of entire planets, born in the fire of the Big Bang…

…can’t simply take the damned thing away from Reed Richards, the guy whose power is the ability to stretch?

Surely Galactus could have paralyzed Reed rendering him unable to trigger the device. He could have teleported the device from Reed’s hand. He could simply cause Reed to instantly be dead. There are an infinite number of ways a being like Galactus could have easily solved this problem.


Twitter is down

My browsers here at work are not able to load Twitter’s style sheet, so Twitter is sort of blown up for me right now. Thus, I have posted a few things here that I might otherwise have tweeted.

Someone should bring me some bacon and eggs this morning. 

People are stupid, right?

This guy parked like a jackass. (insert iPod camera image here)

RETWEET: picture of someone’s cat.

I wish I was out skateboarding right now.

9:27am — time to start putting up for the day?

Really, some bacon and eggs would be nice.

Reply: Oh yeah, for sure. They are washed up!

In my next life, I’d like to be a chocolate pie.


An Admission

Tonight, while sitting here reading random stuff on the internet and playing on Twitter, some guy from Miami took offense at my tweet about how Walmart is now giving benefits to same-sex couples, so fundamentalists and people who just hate gays all suffered simultaneous head explosions.

I investigated the guy who responded with some stupid but non-profane comeback about “liberals” and “socialists”.  OK – he’s from Miami. On his Twitter page he has a “no Che” symbol. You know – a picture of Che Guevara with a red circle around it with a red line through Che’s face. So at the risk of being hasty and succumbing to horrible stereotyping, I’m gonna say it was a Cuban-American from Miami who just hates Castro and is still just really hating Che, and of course he has therefore adopted a super conservative ultra-patriot persona.

I find this amusing because a friend of mine, also of Cuban heritage but raised in New York City, used to find great humor in this kind of thing. I think of my buddy and laugh. I wish I could hear his evaluation. Maybe I’ll send him the link.

Anyway, I blocked this dickhead so he can’t see my account or respond to me. I love having that power. I imagine his frustration that I not only didn’t start an argument with him, but now I have vanished from his confused universe.

Keep with me. I know this is quite childish.

three-stooges-wallpapers-three-stooges-23436836-1024-768So all of this, as well as other readings from the evening have made me realize this fact about myself. Not only does it give me pleasure when people I disagree with are unhappy because the thing we disagree on has not gone their way (this is sick enough, I admit), but I also enjoy it — I mean REALLY enjoy it — when people who agree with the people who disagree with me are disappointed and/or (preferably) angry about the same thing.

This is very similar to the German concept of schadenfreude, but rather than being happy about someone’s misfortune, it involves being happy about their unhappiness. And of course, what I’m admitting to here is the delight I take in the cascade of displeasure that happens all through the network of stupidity.

Clearly I didn’t have much activity planned tonight…

Encounter with The Scary

There are at least two cultures living in our society in parallel. I’m not talking about racial divides, gender, urban vs. rural, or even really “class”.

I’m talking about the world of most of us – normal, working, peaceful, sane people, and the world of the Sketchy. The Sketchy World is the one full of people who live on the very edge, where criminality is common, where no thought is given to the future (and by the future I mean 30 seconds from now), where education is low, where confrontation and animosity are often high. Substance abuse and addiction are the norm. The Sketchers are in survival mode 24-7.

These two worlds sometimes come into contact. In more urban environments they see each other more often. Who doesn’t love being in the city when some lunatic begins shouting out that Jesus is on his way or something like that? I love it. In the suburbs contact is less frequent, but does happen. But when it happens, it’s weird. Bus stations are a great nexus of the two universes.

Skateboarding can also bring you into close contact with the Sketchy, but generally everyone just wants to skate, so things are usually chill. Still, in skateboarding you sometimes have to be aware of the Sketchy. Keep your wits about you, and make sure you aren’t pulled in, at least not too far.

I’m sure this is why cops always seem weird to me when I meet them. They spend so much of their time dealing with humanoids who have no idea or ability to get along harmoniously in the world that they must start seeing that aspect in almost everyone.

But I digress…

The other day I was walking to lunch near my place of employment. As I waited for the lights to change so I could cross the street, I noticed a young couple across the street with a baby in a carriage (yeah…of course…they had to have a baby, right?). The woman was really impatient. She could hardly wait for the “walk” sign to light up, as she stood there shifting from one foot to the other, cigarette dangling from her mouth. Her male companion was standing slightly behind her, pushing the carriage. Both looked to be in their late 20s, but with a lot of miles on them.

When the light changed, she took off across the street, jumping way ahead of the man and the baby. As I passed her going the other way, I swear she was trying to invade my space. Seriously. I mean, it is a full size crosswalk, but this fucking hag is trying to take as much of it as possible.

Now, I credit my aikido training for improving my sense of what is going on around me. It hasn’t made me paranoid or anything , but after six years I have developed a bit more of a sense of people’s body language and “way”.  I was actually kind of on my guard, just in case this woman was crazy.

Now, of course there was no collision or anything. But afterward as I thought about it, I realized that a lot of people live in that world all the time. — the world where tiny stuff can turn into an altercation, where the lizard brain is primary, and it’s often under the influence of one or more mind-altering substances.

As I passed the guy with the baby carriage, he seemed like he was just wishing that maybe she’d get hit by a car or something. He didn’t look too stoked about being there with her. Who knows what was going on with them. You just really never know what kind of stuff is happening in people’s lives, and with inhabitants of the Sketchy World you really have no idea.

Looking forward to my friend Mike’s comments here, as his line of work (which is perfectly legitimate) often puts him in contact with the Sketchy-verse.

Peace out.