What I Am

I’m many things. Most of us are. I’m a husband, a son, a librarian, a person, a skateboarder, an aikidoist, a nerd, a nephew, an uncle. The list goes on.

But now, mostly, I’m aware that I’m a son.

My mom is not well. Her mind is slipping. Her mind is slipping more than it should be. It’s slipping in a way I have always dreaded. I’ve dreaded that it happen to her. I dread that it might happen to me, or my wife, or anyone. But it is happening.

So beside my primary role, that of husband, I am most aware of myself, right now, as a son. And I’m aware that I will not always have that role, and it’s a strange feeling. But right now, I am, so my challenge is to be as good in that role as I can be, to do the right things, to be kind, to be smart, to be there for my mom, and try to see the beauty in this cycle and become better from the experience. Because there is beauty in this. Anywhere you find love and caring, you will find beauty. I learned that while helping care for my father during his last months. You need to find that beauty, because it gives you the strength to do what you must.

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