I have not delved into the AI stuff much at all. A few months ago I played with an AI art generator until my free tries ran out. I have not used any of the others. When I was doing the art thing I very much wonder what online resources had been evaluated and remixed to create the images produced. I have to think they came from somewhere. Or maybe “everywhere”?
The slurping-in of people’s creative output by these systems is kind of troubling. Even being as ignorant of this stuff as I am, I have to say my immediate reaction is to hate it.
I have stopped posting video to Youtube. I am considering making all my Vimeo videos “unlisted” or “private” from here on out. I’m even thinking about making all my stuff here on CL require a log-in to view, or something like that. I realize this is a meaningless gesture given the nature of this issue, but really it is only a “gesture.” I just really don’t want to feed this beast even my own little collection of thoughts, images, and sounds.
I’m sitting out on my patio this morning. Drinking coffee. It is good. On the left side of my body the sun is hitting me and I’m warm. On the other side of my body the wind is hitting me and I’m cool. The breeze smells fresh. An airplane just flew overhead. There’s a bird singing. The buzz from my tinnitus is less noticeable than usual. Inside the house my wife is getting our puppy ready to go to his manners class. This morning for the first time when he came out of his crate he jumped up on the bed to snuggle with me. He clacked his front teeth in a sassy greeting. Later today, we’re going to see my nephew play in a college baseball game.
But right now I’m just sitting quietly on the patio, soaking it all in. It is good to be alive.
2022 was a busy year. We did a major house remodel that took the first quarter of the year. We got a puppy in October, which is a challenge and tiring but also a joyous delight.
2022 was a year of healing in many ways. I started the year with severe anxiety but with the help of a good therapist and a patient wife I’ve learned to deal with it and for the most part I don’t feel like catastrophe is about to occur at any time (though of course it might).
I’d like for 2023 to be a year for regrouping. Not like in groups. I just feel like with all that happened in 2022 I was really out of any sort if rhythm in life. The remodel was all-consuming and exhausting. It was very hard to think about anything else while that was going on and we were in temporary living accommodations. And it was hard to recover from. As a result many of the personal pursuits that keep me sane were not pursued. These include skateboarding, gaming, and reading. I did get back to Aikido practice a few times, and I am not quitting Aikido, but my life is a lot different now than it was 10 years ago and it is very hard to work practice in. If I can get to practice once a month in the coming year that would be good, but I’m not stressing out over it. Frankly I’m still not excited about being up in my fellow aikidoists’ faces, breathing up all their Covid/Flu/RSV germs.
Like anyone else, when I’m tired I tend to do mindless stuff like stare at the TV or just fiddle around on the computer. Sometimes the idea of summoning 20 minutes of energy and focus to simply go to an empty room and read is just beyond what I can muster. I really want that to change. Nothing makes me feel more down than getting to the end of a day and realizing I haven’t done a single thing that I enjoy just for me. And it’s my fault. The time is there. The focus and determination are not.
As our dog gets more mature and is eventually not freaked about by cars, trucks, and the other horrible noises of suburban life I’d like to get up early with my wife and take him for a walk. This will be a real stretch for me. I’m not a morning person. But I think this would be good for me. The current schedule and lifestyle clearly are not working.
If I can skate twice a week that would be good. That will be enough. And if we can get back to our D&D game that will be good too.
Overall 2022 was a good year though. We got our house fixed up. This year we’re getting the yard fixed up. We took a great trip to Mississippi to pick up a great puppy, and man we love this little dog. Most importantly, we are both healthy.