A few more things I can do without

More in my continuing series of stuff and people I can do without.

1. People who apply the same solution to every problem…

Complaint: I have a cold.
Answer: Have you tried Yoga?

Complaint: I’ve been constipated.
Answer: Have you ever tried chiropractic?

Complaint: My car is making a weird noise.
Answer: Have you prayed about it?

2. The need to work. Even though I like my job, c’mon…this is 2013. Aren’t we supposed to be beyond the need to work and toil for our daily bread? Aren’t we supposed to be served by robots, and be able to spend our days making art and otherwise improving ourselves and enjoying our limited time on Planet Earth with our friends and family?

3. Crazy people. Man, I am so done with crazy people. This presents a small problem, as there still seems to be an oversupply of them. Goal for 2014 and into the future. Minimize contact with the crazy, the stupid, the misguided. Avoid, evade, be invisible to the stupid, and let them not be part of my universe.

4. Southern bullshit.

5. Miami

6. Flip-flops at the store or on the airplane. Especially on the airplane. Put some damned shoes on.

7. People who are against ever giving some kind of participation award to little kids playing sports. This was a big news story here for a few nights, and was so stupid I couldn’t believe anyone cared. But the more I heard about it, night after night, the more I came to hate the people who were so concerned that their peewee football kids might “learn a wrong lesson” if they got a trophy but it wasn’t for winning.

Really. Really? We’re talking about little kids. You already have them playing a sport in which they learn to run over each other. So right there, you’ve already got the main lesson of the game being pretty bad unless you are preparing them for life in Conan’s Hyborian Age.   Why not give the kids who got their asses run over the most — just got the crap knocked outta them, lost, but kept playing — a trophy to show that they kept at it and didn’t give up. Oh no, these redneck and jock-sniffer parents won’t have any of that! Screw those little losers!  What kind of small-hearted, weak-minded, human vermin are that serious about 8 year olds playing football?  Well, we have our answer. End of mini-rant!

OK, that’s it for now.

 

 

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